


Protector

by rebel_wren



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Finale, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 05:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20848124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebel_wren/pseuds/rebel_wren
Summary: Zeb is thinking about Kanan, and finds comfort in Hera.





	Protector

Zeb watched Hera sip the tea he’d made her as she read. He didn’t know what she was reading- knowing her, it was probably a mission report, but he hoped that it was the novel she’d mentioned not having time to finish a while back. She’d more than earned a break.

Her abdomen had grown a lot with pregnancy, a physical reminder of how much time had passed since their lives had all changed on Lothal. The baby was healthy, according to the doctor when Zeb had accompanied her to her last appointment, and everything seemed to be going exceptionally well, which made Zeb happy. After everything she suffered through, Hera deserved to have something like this go flawlessly. 

She still carried much of the pain of Kanan’s death with her- Zeb had known her long enough and closely enough to tell that easily. On Lasan, they believed that when two people were truly in love (well, only when they were married, some of the elders would have said, but Zeb wasn’t quite that traditional), their souls combined. When one person dies, their soul is ripped from the other as it moves to the afterlife, and the pain of that loss persisted forever. Not because their soul was now half, as some cultures believed, but because that wound left the soul bleeding and wounded, and even after it healed there was still a scar.

That was why Zeb had been working so hard to check up on Hera over the past months and take care of her as much as she’d allow him to. Not only because she was pregnant, or because she was his best friend, but because Zeb understood what her loss felt like on a much more personal level than he wished.

But it was times where Zeb would get in his head, especially when he was in his bunk at night without a teenager’s snores above him, that he remembered that he lost too. Ezra, if Sabine’s hope told him anything, was still somewhere in the galaxy- hopefully to be reunited with someday in the near future. But Kanan was gone. As gone as his people were.

Kanan was a brother and a best friend to him. They’d spent so much time together, whether it was playing sabacc or dejarik, cooking meals for their family together or sitting and talking into the early hours of the morning about the cultures they were among the last survivors of. The loss of Kanan Jarrus ran so deeply in Zeb because ultimately, Zeb felt like he had failed again.

He couldn’t protect the people of Lasan. Not the royalty, not the members of the Honor Guard that had so bravely followed him, and not even his own family.

And then, he’d finally pieced together a life for himself. He met Hera and Kanan, who offered him a spot in their ship even when he was sad and drunk and rough around the edges. Kanan helped him clean himself up, and Hera had given him things to do where he could help people again, and given him purpose. Then they met Sabine, a girl who Zeb latched on to protectively rather quickly, and became a little sister to him, and then Ezra, who had eventually wormed his way into Zeb’s heart to become a little brother to him.

And then he couldn’t protect them either. He couldn’t protect Kanan from his death, he couldn’t protect Hera from being left heartbroken and pregnant, he couldn’t protect Sabine from losing so much so young and being left with pain and burdens on her shoulders, and he couldn’t protect Ezra from flying out into the unknown, somewhere where nobody knew who he was and he was alone with Thrawn.

He still carried his bo-rifle with him. Not only a weapon, but a symbol of his status as captain of the Honor Guard, a position that meant he was a protector. But what did that mean anymore, when he seemed to fail to protect everyone around him again and again?”

There was a quiet  _ thunk _ as Hera sat her mug down on the table, pulling Zeb from his thoughts. She had lowered her datapad, and was eyeing Zeb with concern.

“Are you alright?”

“‘M fine,” Zeb mumbled, but just as Zeb knew Hera, she knew him, and he could tell she wasn’t convinced. She set her datapad down and slowly stood up, supporting herself against the table and the back of her chair.

“No, Hera don’t-” Zeb started, but she quieted him with a wave of her hand as she went around to sit next to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Zeb didn’t cry much, but his ears were pressing against his head and he felt like something had gotten into his eyes. He couldn’t bear to look at Hera, opting to direct his gaze to the simple grey mug sitting across from him.

“You can tell me anything,” Hera said gently. “You’ve listened to me a lot lately. It’s my turn to return the favor, big guy.”

Zeb nodded reluctantly. “Just thinking about Kanan.”

He finally looked towards her, and Hera smiled sadly. “I miss him too.”

One of her hands drifted over her stomach, and Zeb’s heart hurt even more. It wasn’t fair- Kanan deserved to know his baby, and his baby deserved to know him.

“He would’ve been a great dad to your little one,” Zeb said. “I just know it.”

Hera chuckled quietly and nodded. “Of course.”

She brushed his arm gently with her fingers. “If you ever want to talk about him- or anything- I’m here. Always.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think you do, Zeb,” her voice was soft. “I mean it. We’ve got to take care of each other. It’s what Kanan would want.”

She reached her arms up and pulled Zeb into a hug, but rather than settling against him like she usually did, she pulled his head down so he was resting against her. Zeb let out a quiet, relieved sigh as he returned the affection. It was awkward, with both of them sitting and Hera’s stomach between them, but Zeb didn’t mind.

Even if he failed at protecting others before, it didn’t mean he would stop trying.


End file.
